college has ended.

everything has ended.

and by everything, i really mean everything.

it's the perfect closure to college.

i leave behind everything: my friends, my enemies, my books, biology/chemistry/math, my social conflicts, my not-so-fantastic-second-semester-results, my boyfriend.

i walk away leaving everything behind, and memories of the past that has happened in malaysia, will forever remain as just that: memories--the past, intangible, just another thing that makes me smile or cry every now and then. but generally, they're just memories. and nothing more than that. they can't be relived. period. and its better that i don't hope the memories are relived or else it's going to be devastating.

right now... i hope i get my minimum of 3a's. then i can disappear off to lse or ucl. and.. just start over right from the very beginning in a faculty that nobody i know is going to be in (well, for lse at least). it's all i've ever wanted, ever since i began my application process last year: to disappear to the uk, and start from scratch, not knowing anyone, as a mere stranger to everyone.

kahyang's presence in my life made my change my original plan. but now, guess it's back to my initial plans! im glad i had an original plan that i could fall back on :p i mean sure it sucks... but, it's all for the better la :)

it was inevitable, the splitting of ways. thinking about it now, it would have happened anyway and i realized it a long time ago.. i just didn't want to come to terms with it. i lost some, and i gained some.

mainly, my main consolation is: i get to go to uk (*crosses fingers and toes*) and start fresh!!!!!!! just like i've always wanted!!!! :D

i'll write a proper byebye-college some day soon :)