i know the new blog template is hard to read. for the sake of our readers eyes, im going to do this in point form.

• RUWAN! CHANGE IT BACK TO A VERTICAL DESIGN. it's too bloody cramped to do or see anything! people cant even read your tag or long posts. CHANGE IT ASAP. i'd rather have hilary duff like this.
• my laptoppy cant detect my ipoddy, so i cant uploaddy any songgys. and i downloaded so many songgys yesterday, cos i thought i was going to get speaker..... -ys.
• i have finally gotten over the exam results shock. yes, i was mourning and grieving deep inside. (ooh.) yes, it sucks when you fall from the top with top marks--really really hard. but, it sucks even more when you fall from the top really really hard, back to where you began, reliving the past of shit results and disappointment from the people who had high expectations of you... and also your expectation of own personal self. and it sucks 6.02 x 10^23 more, when YOU yourself are solely responsible for your downfall, with no one else to blame. in other words, you let yourself get screwed. i know... i should be thankful for getting A's in other subjects.. apart from bio and accts... but really, even though they're A's... deep down inside, i KNOW i can do better than that. for the past few days, ive been walking around with a thorn in me, not even being able to face myself, in a daze, cos i didnt expect it to get so bad. ive been playing bejewelled and watching grey's anatomy like crazy the past few days (i know.. some way of showing remorse...)... but, not because i dont care abt my exams... but its because i dont know what to do with myself... the past few days in college has been like.. im just physically there, but, my mind is somewhere else. it's not healthy, i know. but, i really feel like crap.

i don't know how to study or how to redeem myself. i am lost. i, rachel chin sue-li, the nerd who knows books from the front to back and every method of answering...... is lost when it comes to studying. never expected it eh. i have lost my mo-jo and purpose.

i just can't study anymore... and its going to suck a trillion billion million times more, when i can't meet my conditional offer to my dream school. it sucks when you dont get it... its sucks EVEN MORE, when you got it, and couldnt fulfill it only because you didnt work hard enough for it.

honestly, i feel like a failure, a disappointment.

• ruwan..... why la did u put up my 2006 recollection post without my permission... i was only an sms away..
• i am really hungry.