Thinking of yesterday makes me depressed. So winning the MTV Video Music Awards 2007 contest helped lift my spirits up a biiittt, and then I watched Monday Night Laughs and was almost back to normal.

Then my dreams started once I hit my pillow and I became troubled again. I forced them out of my mind only to wake up to a message from a friend asking me how yesterday went.

No, it was not a date la :P Something else, which I FAILED at cause of some STUPID STUPID REASON!!!

AAAAHHHHH!!!! *smashes office equipment*

I can’t listen to Life in Cartoon Motion cause there’s no CD player, and the USB port can’t find software for my pen drive. I’m here alone today ‘cause I couldn’t make it yesterday.

I made a list of things I wanna blog about in one of the previous posts, and I did one already, so I’m gonna add on two more.

1. Yesterday

2. Outing with Seok and Ping (2 parts – first part can only be done when I find my camera box to transfer the pics)

I think Seok is feeling really lonely and/or uncomfortable, being in her new club that has a very firm set of qualifications needed for aspiring members. The ‘Taken Club’ that is. Everytime I speak to her she’ll either try to set me up with one of her friends (‘Then you can married, and you’ll have such beautiful children etc.’) or try to make me BE set up (‘Why don’t you ask her? She’s pretty!…Oh what about that one! I can tell her your available!!!’).

Me : …………

Don’t worry Seok. You have a lot of members to interact with. Like…Mun Yee (nyeh heh at Monkey), Ray Mun, Yan Mei, Vincent, Rachel, Lixia, Ai Vyn, Aaron, Hilary Duff etc. etc.!

You guys probably won’t find me after December the 23^rd. Mun Yee has vowed to slaughter me when she gets back, for all the teaing I’ve done with her safely 13 hours away, but I think a round of doughnuts on me, at J.Co’s should soften her mood! Right Munja? *grovels*

I think I’ve finally figured out what kind of person I am. I wasn’t on any kind of quest to find myself or anything, but it just hit me on Saturday. Here are some of the things I have confirmed :

1. I have the heart and soul of a 6 year old. Some may find this endearing (if any of you out there do, comment! :P), but I think its great, cause I still look at everything in a fun way and I’m never negative about anything. Not only do I act that age when I’m with people that I’m comfortable with, but to me, everything can be done. I can believe that I’ll see a dinosaur tomorrow and if it doesn’t show, I’ll just say it was busy or something. (That’s if I really wanted to see a dinosaur la).Anything is possible cause I have my Mummy and Daddy and my family and friends 

2. When I get nervous (which is not a lot), it’s a sign that I will surely fail, because normally, I exude confidence in myself and my abilities. When I’m nervous, my brain will start telling me that everyone walking around me, or sitting on a bench nearby or just walking past me is looking at me, noting me, mocking me, commenting about me, watching me. And then my confidence breaks, and I brake too early on the slope whatever I’m doing just crashes.

3. I really really care what people think or say about me. Even perfect strangers. I’m a people pleaser. The funny thing is, if I know someone doesn’t like me, or even hates me, and I have done all I can to rectify the situation, I don’t care what they say. It just bounces off me so fast. But if its someone I don’t know, or who I’m friends with, I will do everything I can to please that person. Most of the time, when my efforts pay off – like skipping an important family reunion to go to a farewell party for an hour – they just go unnoticed, like its no big deal. Since it happens a lot it doesn’t affect me, but for a second I’ll still think “I wonder if they know how much trouble I went through’.

4. I would rather people think I’m blur or stupid, because I have the need to know what everyone thinks of me. My friends, both from school and college, all think I’m a really really blur person. It’s either because I’m a fantastic actor, or just the best manipulator around. Most of the time that I’m out with friend, when I’m not talking, I’m acting. Every expression on my face is programmed if I think they’re watching me. And I act really blur when I’m a bit in front or at the back of them so that they let their guard down and if they talk about me I’ll be able to catch it.

BUTTT…I rarely do it now, so you guys don’t have to worry :P

I’m SERIOUS! The only people I’ve done it to this year is the Settedici crowd! But…you know…you guys don’t have to worry either *cough*

I used to do it in school more I think.

Anyway, I think this post is getting too long. Like my new countdown!? :D