Technology has failed me.
All that jazz about technology bridging the gap between two individuals who are far apart is bull.
What the advertisements forgot to mention was ‘it only works if the other party reacts and chooses to communicate as well.’
Communication is a two-way thing. It’s not deemed communication if it’s one sided. I can keep calling and sending you text messages… but if you choose to not heed my ‘signals’, nothing much I can do.
And the gap between the both of us grows farther and farther such that no bridge can possibly bring us close again.
When I see you again, I don’t know how I am going to react. Will I be as warm and open up to you as I once did awhile ago? Or, will you be a stranger to me, as I to you? Will it be awkward while thoughts of ‘why did I even come?’ rush through our minds as our eyes acknowledge one another’s presence? I do not know.
I was supposed to see you tonight. But, you had an engagement that you couldn’t get away from. It’s rescheduled for next Saturday. But I am afraid. I don’t want history to repeat itself.
‘We’ll meet up this weekend and catch up over coffee’
‘Okay… no prob. See you then’
That weekend never came, even for weeks after. In the end, we both ceased to contact one another anymore.
I texted you last night after three months of silence. You replied, and a strong feeling of nostalgia washed over me. A sense of familiarity and trust that I thought I could never feel again when interacting with you overcame me. I can just see you in your chair, forehead creased, flipping open your phone and replying text messages with the funny symbols.
If one text message inviting you out for dinner with a group of friends can be so...... Damaging… imagine what meeting and sitting opposite you will be like. Guess I never got over you entirely.
I miss you. I still remember everything that happened on that one night clearly. I miss being in your arms while gazing at the stars above, looking over the city’s skyline, just talking to you about anything and everything. You were not the top student of your law school for nothing, and neither are you the best litigator in the firm for nothing. The way you argued with me… I just wanted to strangle you, but at the same time, I knew I can never be mad at you. For that six hours, I felt alive and I never wanted that night to end. Its funny though since the only form of interaction prior to that being over research for scale fees for auctioneers and bankruptcy trials. And you always wear blue. Haha :p
So, next Saturday night. I am counting on you to show up. I trust your years of maturity and professionalism to come. Now, I want nothing more than your friendship. Just come, and help me forget my feelings for you once and for all and to know whether there is still a chance of us just having a platonic relationship or none at all, after what happened that night. This doubt and uncertainty has to end by next Saturday. I want to let go of you in a positive manner, rather than let go of you whilst thinking ‘You are a disappointment’.
I still have your birthday present. Please give me a chance to give it you.
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