Keyang sits at the same lab table as Fatin and I for Biology practical.
FATIN: Rachel.. Today's my fifteenth month anniversary with Brian.
RACHEL: Oh... so? It's coming to my one year being single anniversary. I feel SO happy. *scowl*
KEYANG: I've never dated anyone before.
FATIN: No worries. You always have Rachel. She's single!
KEYANG: *a boiling tube slips from his hand and smashes in the sink, the SECOND Fatin said that*
Am I really that bad :p
edit (6.54pm)::
One of the first things I promised myself to do when I finally get my driving license was to go back to the courts of Kuala Lumpur, along Jalan Tun Perak...
Back to where it all began.
My original intention was to just get out of the car and get down and walk along the many corridors, starting from the Magistrates/Sessions... then work my way towards the north to the Bankruptcy Courts before proceeding upstairs, to the Criminal and Commercial High Court Division.. I just wanted to retrace my steps.
Read the post below the one before this... I think some of you would know who I am referring to. Read the last paragraph especially, 'I want to let go by meeting you.' To face everything that reminds me of you, so that I can really forget.
Everytime, on my way back home from HELP, I'd always see the distant Sultan Abdul Samad clocktower from the highway. Each and every time I see it, that tiny voice in my head says 'I NEED to go back there. I have to.'
Allow me to be frank... the exterior's really nice, but there's really nothing so special there. But to me, it's a more personal experience... I've given up explaining to Fatin what has been going through my mind the past few days. I just can't put it into words. Actually, I've given up explaining to anyone what I actually feel a long long time ago because words are inadequate.
Today, in line with all the reminisence (again refer to below post), opportunity finally presented itself. Fatin and I were doing a bit of sightseeing after chem. I was like 'Lets go to the courts.' Fatin agreed... she knew why I wanted to go back but only part of it, I guess. I didn't get the chance to go in, as I had originally planned to do. Just managed to drive along Jln Tun Perak. Fatin was nice enough to offer to drive at this point.
Amidst all the laughter in the car, I saw all the familiar places from the road. Happier times, before I was stupid enough to let things spiral out of control. Amidst all the laughter on the outside, I was bleeding because it was my own mistake that things became like this.
I don't know why I've suddenly become so bad. It was QUITEEEE okay, the past three months. Quote an sms to a friend: 'I don't think I really overcame it. I just supressed it all this while.'
After that short trip to the court, we went back to college. Somewhere along the journey, I suddenly became really quiet. Yet again, many thanks to my cute chubby friend for keeping quiet. I walked into math class, still very quiet... when I turned to Fatin and said
'I am confused.'
I promise to return one day... After my LNAT exam and when I can afford to mess around. And this time, I will really park in the church opposite the courts, and walk.
I want this all to end. This is getting stupid la. I am becoming too emo. When I go back to the courts in 10 years time, this time as a practicing lawyer and reread this post, I'll probably laugh like hell. But while I am waiting for that 10 years to pass, everyday's a hellish battle between the heart and mind, at present.
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