In Secondary 2 and 3, I had this very good friend A. Actually, he could have been my best friend. We were really really close, and…well yeah la…
Anyway,
It was A, B and me. Are we still close friends?
Nope.
First, A and B had a disagreement. That’s of course their own personal conflict, so I wont put it up here. Anyway, I was a bit oblivious to it, so when B started badmouthing A and vice versa to me, I didn’t really know why.
And, in Form 4, B and I had a disagreement as well, and since then, while I no longer am angry at him, we just don’t talk because we just don’t know how.
Anyway, this post is about A.
In Form 1, I barely knew A and B, as they were in a lower class, and I didn’t really mix with the lower classes, just because, they hated the higher classes. Anyway, I remember one day I had an IT exam and it was Sports Carnival practice on the same day. The school had told us that we were to stay at the field, and for us in the IT center and not to move around. I was feeling really sick that day, and so I got permission from the then vice principal Puan Farah to go to a class and rest.
When I entered class I saw this small group of people of no more than five, and they were sitting around two tables at the side of the class. I took my seat in the back row after struggling to bring down the chair from above the table with my splitting headache. After a while A spoke up.
A : You know your not allowed to be moving around the school?
Me : I got permission from Puan Farah.
A : Don’t lie la okay
Me : I did get permission from her, Im sick.
A/B/one of the other 3 : We should really report you you know, cause your breaking the rules
Me : What about you? Your not supposed to be here either
A/B/one of the other 3 : We got permission la okay, not like you
Pn Sapura : *opens door* What are you all doing here?
Me : Im sick, so Puan Farah said I could rest in here.
A : Teacher, he’s lying, and hes making a lot of noise and disturbing us.
And that’s where I LOST it!
I really couldn’t take it anymore. All I remember is jumping up from my seat with tears in my eyes, screaming (I think it was IM TELLING THE TRUTH) and then I THREW MY CHAIR.
Of course not at people la, what you think? Never wait for me to finish my sentence also
I threw my chair at the chair on top of the table in front of me, and so my chair knocked THAT chair of the table, and it made this big bang sound.
Pn Sapura : okay, Ruwan (I dunno how she knew my name), calm down, take a rest. The rest of you don’t disturb him. Are you sure your okay?
Me : (how could she be so CALM?!?!?) Yes, Im fine.
*Pn Sapura leaves*
Theres silence for a while, and hurried whispers from the group. Then,
A : Are you mad? Such a temper throwing chairs! Learn to jaga your emotions la my god.
And then, the Sports Practice ended and so the class started filling in, and so they left.
And the very next year, he became my best friend…hmm….but do best friends do this??
It was Commencements in Form 2, and we were in the production crew. I was backstage helping out, when one of my friends called me and told me to help him get his bag which he had left inside the main hall. So I went and got it for him, and when I got back to the backstage room, this guy C wouldn’t let me in cause he said I was the latest to arrive and all…so blablabla, I just ignored him and entered anyway, and he tried so hard to try get me out of the room, by insults and the like (he was one of the only bullies in the whole school, and then finally he left at the end of form 2)…Anyway, he never actually got to me, and I think that’s why he tried so hard to bully me, cause he knew everything he did was in vain…
So finally, he said
C : A, if you tell Ruwan to leave, Ill never tease you or call you gay again.
A : Never again?
C : never
A : okay…*turns to me* Ruwan, could you please leave? Pleaasee? Just leave la
Luckily for me, I had to take A home after the Commencements that night, so I said
Me : Okay la A, Ill leave…but do you realise right, there are so many people out there in the hall, and this place (Cempaka Cheras) is so huge, you could just lose me by the time night is over, and I wouldn’t be able to send you home
A : *eyes widen in shock* Ruwan!!! you promised you’ll take me home!!!
Me : yeah, but if you lose me not my problem…its not like I can force my parents to wait the whole time while I search for you right?
That ended that then and there.
The third ‘event’ was when A was upgraded to a higher class than B and me in Form 3.
He sent us an email that sounded like this :
Hey people,
It’s a start of a new year huh? Its been a great year, and now Ive been upgraded to 3 Terra. Its too bad that were not together anymore, but you know what? I really don’t want to come back down to Aqua, if you work hard enough then you people can come up to Terra like me.
OKKAYYYY…..
Anyway, in Form 3, things got from bad to worse, because A made a new set of friends, and he used to backbite me and B, and so in the end we barely talked anyway. In school I wouldn’t interact with him because B didn’t want to, and at home, I never called him or anything unless I needed him to take something to school for me (he used to live nearby). In fact, he would only start keeping in touch near the exams or just after them to find out if I had any tips, and to compare marks. Also, in Form 4 when I asked him advice about B, he was one of the factors that made me to do what I did.
Anyway, in Form 5 I thought he had changed, and we kept in touch more often, especially nearing SPM. But then, I found out that even in college he used to backbite me to a mutual friend.
Exactly a year ago today, I made a promise to myself, that since I was having problems with B, I would weed out my true friends and forget the rest, within a year. Now its been a year, and I haven’t really sealed the deal. I promised myself I wouldn’t let myself be caught up with A again, but I put it off because I wanted to tell him exactly what I thought of him, but now I realise Ill never have the courage to do it, and so Im ready.
And to do that, I cant be friends with people who are close to him. Even though this girl D was a really really good friend to me, and I love her a lot as a friend, she’s just too close to A, and so I feel I cant take it. It hurts me to let her go, but I just have to. She’s changed since she met him at Taylors this year, and while the change doesn’t affect our friendship as such, I know she’s different and more like him, and so, as they say, prevention is better than cure. I don’t want anything to happen, so I’m gonna head it off by making it IMPOSSIBLE to happen. Maybe next year when I have less on my plate Ill be able to finish off my issues with A once and for all, and thus be able to have my dear friend D back again, but right now, I have no assurance from her, or her actions that I can trust she wont turn into another him.
I just needed to get that out of my system, so sorry for breaking the flow of the birthday posts, and Ill get back to them tomorrow.
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